Here’s what may be my favorite all-time song, based not so much on what I revere the most right now but more on what song I’ve listened to more than any other. The chords for this have been online longer than you have, probably, thanks to Pittsburgh-based BBS geek John Fail, a kid I knew only through the Camper Van Beethoven listserv, whom I then I had the pleasure of meeting a few times while living in Pgh doing separate DIY projects.

Now, A new time-wasting DIY project has forced me to figure out Greg Lisher’s lead-guitar part for the song, which I’ve posted here. It’s not perfect, but it’ll pass muster if your audience consists mostly of those friends of yours shocked that you can even tune a guitar much less play one.

[opening riff]

e-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-3-5-3-2-
B-3-------3-------3-------3-------3-
G-2-------2-------2-------2-------2-
D-0-------0-------0-------0-------0-

[verse 1]

no chords at first
then two riffs begin to appear at the ends of certain lines

riffA:       riffB:
e-3-----     -------0-----
B---3---     ---3-----3---
G-----0-     -2---------2-

riffA
And I can see her squeeze the phone between
                     riffAx2
her chin and shoulder
And I can almost smell her breath, faint,
              riffA          riffBx2
with a sweet scent of decay

[verse 2]
e-2--------------------0h2---------
B-3------------3------------3------
G-2--2-----------------------------
D-0--------------------------------
She serves him mashed potatoes

e------------------------------------------------
B------------------------------------------------
G---------------------------7--------4/11---4/14-
D------------------3h4---------------------------
and she serves him peppered steak, with corn

e-2h3-------------------------2----
B-----------3-------------3--------
G--------------------2h4-----------
D----------------------------------
  Pulls her dress up over her head

e-----------------------------12-10-7-5-
B-------------3---------------12-10-8-7-
G----------------------4----------------
D---------------------------------------
  lets it fall to the floor

e-------3/5----3---0----------------
B-------5/7----5---5------3---------
G-----------------------------------
D-----------------------------------
And does she ever whisper in his ear,

e------------------------------------------------
B-7/---------------/3---------1p0--------------3-
G---------------------------------2p0------------
D-------------------------------------4p2--0h5---
  all her favorite fruit

e-10-----12--14--12--10-----/5-----------
B-12-------------------------------------
G-11-------------------------------------
D----------------------------------------
  And all the most exotic places they are

e--------------------10----12----10----12--etc-
B-1p0-------------10----10----10----10-----etc-
G-----2p0--------------------------------------
D---------4p2--0-------------------------------
  cultivated

[verse 3: repeat]
And I'd like to take her there, rather than this train
And if I weren't a civil servant, I'd have a place in the colonies
We'd play croquet behind white-washed walls and drink our tea at four
Within intervention's distance of the embassy

[string break: just muted chords]
D D
Bm A
G G
Bm A D G G
Bm A D G D G D

[final verse: hit each chord once and let ring]
D                           A D
The midday air grows thicker with the heat
           Bm                  A
And drifts towards the line of trees
D                           A D
When negroes blink their eyes, 

e------------------7-----------12-10-7-5-
B------------------6-----------12-10-8-7-
G------------------5---------------------
D------------------5---------------------
  they sink into siesta.

e--------3/5----3---0----------------
B--------5/7----5---5------3---------
G------------------------------------
D------------------------------------
 And we are rotting like a fruit

e-------------------------------------------------
B--7/---------------/3---------1p0--------------3-
G----------------------------------2p0------------
D--------------------------------------4p2--0h5---
   underneath a rusting roof

e-10-----12--14--12--10-----/5-----------
B-12-------------------------------------
G-11-------------------------------------
D----------------------------------------
  We dream our dreams and sing our songs of the

e--------------------10----12----10----12--etc-
B-1p0-------------10----10----10----10-----etc-
G-----2p0--------------------------------------
D---------4p2--0-------------------------------
  fecundity of life and love....

[opening riff, then finish on D]